Kitchen Stories

7:30 - I get an SMS from my boss (they asked me for a Chinese speaking contact when I bought the kitchen) - the IKEA people are supposed to come in an hour

8:30 - I got my breakfast and am now waiting

9:05 - They're here! Three men in blue overalls (but not IKEA blue - they're contractors) invade my apartment and start to rip open IKEA boxes. Very thoughtful - they put blue plastic bags over their shoes to protect my floor. They seem very professional, brought cordless electric screwdrivers, jigsaws, a level and tons of other stuff

9:24 - All 4 base cabinets assembled. To those who complain IKEA furniture is a hassle to assemble, I say to you "that's just because you don't do it for a living!" Two of them (one is clearly the boss) are really fast, the other one seems new to this. Now they're cutting holes for the pipes into the back of the cabinets

9:32 - Oh no, one of the electric screw drivers' battery is empty! Will they make it to lunch despite this setback?

10:17 - All base cabinets sawed to fit and installed. Slow guy turns out too incompetent to adjust two cabinets to the same height. They sent him out into the hallway to unpack doors

10:28 - They're starting to work on the countertop. The blue shoe bags are seeing the first holes

10:32 - Incompetent guy figured out that there are two doors that don't seem to go anywhere. I explain to the boss I want them beneath my stove. Turns out they don't quite fit! Also, they have the hinges on the wrong side, they're made for hanging cabinets

10:35 - The boss doesn't give up so easily, he's now taken to the impossible task to get those doors under my stove somehow

10:42 - The countertop is in place, now guy number 2 is starting to work on cutting a big hole into it for the sink

10:57 - The boss seems to have a plan for making these impossible doors fit; at least he's developed activity with some leftover plinth (the board that goes around the base of the cupboards)

11:08 - Indeed, he screwed some plinth to the inside walls under the stove; now the doors would fit, but what is he going to do about the hinges being wrong????

11:18 -Ah, they also brought a circular cutter, he actually made new holes for them - the size they use to cut a hole into the countertop to install the water tab also fits for hinges! My dining room has turned into a sawdust strewn battle field, they have even taken over the hallway outside

11:22 The blue shoe bags have dissolved in the heat of the battle into rags

11:25 - Guy number two has installed sink and water tab. I am quite amazed at the almost perfect circle he managed to cut, while incompetent guy can't even hold the countertop straight - they seem to be getting annoyed with him

11:35 - Yay! It seems I can actually get my custom-made doors; maybe he could have made the ugly insides facing the bottom, not the top, but well...

11:50 - The cabinets are anchored to the walls, now the drawers are being installed. The boss is angry because someone got grout on a door

11:55 - It's past Chinese lunch time, the tension is rising

12:05 - Incompetent guy has to scrape the grout off the door

12:10 - Putting on the final touches

12:25 - Installing handles on doors and drawers while incompetent guy is sweeping the floor... someone should tell him that sweeping up a step doesn't work so well

12:45 - Done! And they're gone! And I have a shiny new kitchen!

13:45 - Sawdust is a bitch to clean! I need to go out get some fresh air and clear my lungs... wait, I live in China! Darn...